Time is Weird
Over the last week, I have been reminded how strange time can truly be. The saying “the days are long but the years are short” may be as cliché as it comes, but in everything that is, there is always truth behind it.
Incident #1: It was a standard weekday, nothing especially out of the ordinary until I saw my phone light up with a name I hadn’t seen in a while. It was one of my favorite people, Olivia. Olivia and I met back in the fangirl days of Allstar Weekend when she won a Twitter contest for a custom Allstar Weekend painting from me as a collaboration with an Allstar Weekend fan page. (Wow, what a sentence.) From that, a beautiful friendship grew and resulted in many plane rides between the Midwest and the East Coast, seeing Hamilton in Chicago after getting matching airplane tattoos on my 24th birthday, running around Boston and New York City together, and making a point to see each other every year. But then there is that thing… time. The last time I saw Olivia in person was when I was staying at her house for 10 days. I submitted my NYU master’s program application from her guest room that trip, and I have since graduated from there. Life was happening, and the text messages and calls were gaining more distance. While we weren’t talking as often, I knew that she was there. She has gone on to accomplish such amazing things since I last saw her in person, and I am incredibly proud of her. She texted me last week to tell me that her son had asked about the plane tattoo, and she got to tell him all about me and our friendship. How insanely special is that? We made plans to catch up, truly catch up, soon, and I am so beyond thankful that she reached out to share that moment with her son with me.
Incident #2: This one is a doozy. I have to start by saying my therapist ghosted me. Yes, I know how jarring that sounds, and it was jarring to go through. The therapist I had been seeing since I was 15 ghosted me out of the blue when I was 25. We had an appointment scheduled for a phone call, and it never happened. I called and left a message once a month until I realized that I had been ghosted. I began the search for a new therapist (because I think everyone should have a therapist, even if it is only to have a complete third party to talk about your issues with), and have since found an amazing one. I never expected to run into my former therapist. I had a couple of her kids as students when I was working in that school district, but I haven’t been in that school in years, until last week. I went to the basketball game between the school I currently work at and the school I used to work at. It wasn’t until I noticed the senior athlete banners that I saw the last name. The chances of running into my former therapist had suddenly gotten much higher. I was conflicted. Did I want to run into her and get some closure? Did I want to hold on to the anger of what it felt like being ghosted? When I saw her, I took a chance with option one and went up to her. It was in this moment that I learned it was never about me. She was so happy to see me and filled me in that she wasn’t even practicing anymore and everything that led up to that moment. I had so many questions answered in just a minute of time. I wasn’t a problem or a bad client. Life was happening outside the four walls of the office, and she did what she needed to do. Do I think in hindsight that things could have been handled better in the moment when I was 25? Absolutely. But at 33, I can be thankful for the conversation and have clarity and closure. We have plans to grab coffee as adults and just catch up. I am thankful that this run in came when it did. If I had ran into her a few years ago, I don’t think the interaction would have gone the same.
That’s the thing with distance and time.
I’m thankful for the growth over the years and the friendships that ebb and flow through the mountains and valleys of life. I am thankful for the time to process emotions of things changing and the perpetual “why” over every interaction that goes arwry. Time is weird and I am thankful for it.